In my previous post, I discussed some of the reasons why adoptive parent should consider practicing yoga with their children. So now what? Some parents may feel comfortable bringing their child to a structured yoga class but feel unsure about how to practice at home with their child. What poses should you do? When should you practice? For how long should your practice? Moreover, many families are overscheduled with school, work, and extracurricular activities activities. As an adoptive family, you may also be juggling medical appointments and daily therapies at home. If these scenarios reflect your family situation, I encourage you not to view yoga as yet another activity that you must find time to fit in but as a flexible practice that can be incorporated into the existing daily rhythms of your family life. ​ The idea of "planting seeds" provides a framework for approaching your family's yoga practice as a managable activity. From this perspective, the goal of practicing is not to resolve your family's bonding and attachment needs immediately, but to provide ongoing opportunities for relaxation and connection that can help the bonding and attachment process take root and grow in its own time. Thus, it's not necessarily about how much you practice during any given session, but about how consistently you practice. It's more beneficial to practice ten minutes a day or several times a week than to do a thirty-minute session once a week. Given that many adopted children (and some parents, too!) benefit from structure and routine, it can also be helpful if each session takes place around the same time of day. A set practice schedule is certainly not necessary, however, as it's more important to get the sessions in, whenever they happen to be.

Integrating "mindful moments" throughout the day is another way to plant the seeds of yoga into your family life. Such moments can be brief, and may consist of a few yoga poses, a few breaths, or a few seconds of mindful silence. By focusing on brief moments, it might also be possible for you to integrate them on multiple ococcasions throughout the day. Again, the benefits of such moments relate less to the length of each one and more to how often you do them. In fact, adopted kids struggling with emotional, attention, or sensory difficulties may actually find it easier to practice for short moments througout the day than to practice for longer sessions. Certainly, such moments may turn into longer sessions as your child gets more familiar with and used to the practices. Yet it is also possible that your mindful moments will become rituals in themselves, helping to bring structure, calm, and connection to your family on a daily basis.​ There are countless ways to integrate mindful moments into your family's everyday life. Here are a few ideas for doing so:

• Transitions in between activities are wonderful opportunities to practice mindful moments, as doing so allows you and your child to pause and come back to your bodies before jumping into the next activity. One simple transition activity is to close your eyes and take three slow breaths in and out of your noses. If you have a meditation bell (or a meditation bell app), you can ring it and listen closely until the sound ends. Or maybe you each get to pick one yoga pose to do during your transition time.
• Stressful situations are also good times to practice yoga, especially if you've already been practicing on a regular basis. If your child fears medical appointments, for example, you could do a few calming breaths or power breaths together while waiting for the doctor to come in. Bedtime is another stressful time for many young adoptees, and doing a few relaxing yoga poses or a short guided meditation may help to ease their fears.
• Incorporate yoga poses and breathing activities into your reading time with your child. For example, when reading a book with dogs in it, take a few moments to do some dog poses. When reading a story about rabbits, ask you child if she would like to do some bunny breaths with you.
• If your family likes to play games together, consider adding a yoga element, if possible. For example, my kids love Jenga, and I recently turned it into Yoga Jenga by writing the names of yoga and mindfulness activities on the back of the pieces. Everytime someone removes a piece from the Jenga Pile, everybody does the activity written on it.
• In situations where behavioral corrections may be needed, taking a few breaths with your child can help you both calm down and connect before transitioning into the correction. Even if your child is having a difficult time calming down and doesn't want to take their breaths, you both may still benefit from YOU taking a few breaths to you help respond to the situation rather than react to it.

When it comes to deciding where to practice yoga with your a child, I recommend having a designated area--perhaps a section of a room--that can accomodate a few yoga mats. Having such an area takes away the stress of deciding where to practice and can help to create a sense of routine and structure. After practicing in this area regularly, you and your child may also, over time, come to associate that space with positive feelings so that even going to that spot brings a sense of calm. That said, you certainly do not need to only practice in this space, especially when it comes to incorporating mindful moments throughout the day, as the above examples illustrates.Sometimes, it's easier and more conducive to practice wherever you happen to be at the time​. I tend to practice lots of mindful moments with my kids in different places around our house, depending on the situation. We also have three designated areas for practicing yoga with our kids. One designated area is located in our family room, and we keep a few mats rolled up in a corner and take them out when its time to practice. We also have a "calm corner" (see photo), which is located between a couch and a bookcase in our living room. We use this corner --which consists of a meditation cushion, several throw pillows, and a box of kids yoga books and mindfulness props--primarily for calming down when the kids (or us) get dysregulated. Usually, we will sit with our kids in this space and practice "taking our breaths," but occasionally they go to the corner themselves when they realize that they need a break. Our third practice area is, oddly enough, our living room staircase. I started practicing a particular yoga pose on it with my youngest son. We still do the pose often, and he insists that we use the staircase even though we could do it in other places, too.

Managing Expectations: As you practice yoga with your child, it's likely they are will seem disinterested and distracted from time to time (or perhaps even a lot of the time!). These behavioral tendencies may be particularly prominent in adopted children due to their history of early trauma, neglect, and loss. For many parents, such behaviors may leave them feeling that they are "failing" at doing yoga with their child. When you find yourself in this situation, come back to the intention of "planting seeds." Remind yourself that building trust and connection with your child is an ongoing process that requires gentle, consistent efforts over time. Also remember that just because your child may seem like he is not paying attention doesn't mean that the practice is unhelpful. For example, I have taught several children who seemed disengaged from our yoga class activities. Yet to my surprise, their parents told me how they asked to do certain poses or sing certain songs at home. Ultimately, the more that you can focus on the process of doing yoga with your child, rather than on your desired relationship or behavioral outcome, the more that you will be equipped to respond to the yoga activity or interaction at hand (whether it is going "well" or not) with kindness and compassion toward yourself and your child. And even months or years later, as your connection with your child has become stronger and more secure, you may still find it enjoyable and rewarding to practice yoga together. All families, adoptive or not, benefit from opportunities to reconnect in healthy ways.

Next Up: Interactive poses to promote connection with your child#adoption #familyyoga #mindfuness #trauma #kidsyoga