Over the past decade, public interest in and enthusiasm about mindfulness has surged. So what exactly is mindfulness? Mindfulness has various components, and experts have defined mindfulness in various ways. At a fundamental level, however, mindfulness consists of paying attention to one's present experience with non-judgment and "heartfulness," as Mindful Schools, puts it. In other words, mindfulness means being aware of one's thoughts, emotions, body sensations as they relate to one's internal or external experience (e.g., I am feeling fear and anxiety in my chest about my upcoming presentation). It also means accepting the reality of our present experience for what it is by brining kindness and compassion to it and ourselves (e.g., It's okay that I feel this way. It's normal to feel fear about public speaking. Lots of people feel this way. I know I can do this, even though I am afraid. I am here for myself). Put yet another way, mindfulness allows us to notice our experience in any given moment, and rather than automatically reacting to this experience based on our engrained habit and fear patterns, we can learn to pause, relax, and sit with it. Doing so puts us in a better position to respond to our experience in a healthier, kinder, and authentic manner.

A growing body research on adults demonstrates that a regular mindfulness practice can, among other things, boost focus, attention, and learning; increase energy and decrease fatigue; reduce feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress; ease chronic pain; help to treat PTSD, complex trauma, and addiction; and promote emotional intelligence, compassion and empathy. Although the body of research on younger populations is less developed, studies have found that mindfulness benefits children and adolescents in many of these ways, too. For these reasons, the integration of mindfulness into school curricula, after-care progams, foster care programs, pediatric treatment and health care programs, kids yoga classes, and other child-centered contexts is gaining popularity across the nation.

Perhaps not surprisingly, a growing number of parents and adoption professionals have started to consider the benefits of mindfulness for adopted children who struggle with many of these aforementioned issues due to their experiences of early loss, trauma, and neglect. Despite these potential benefits, it is important to note that the goal of mindfulness is not to "fix" these problems per se. Rather, the purpose of mindfulness is to bring awareness, especially with nonjudgment and compassion, to one's present experience, whatever that experience happens to be. By learning to notice what he is experiencing and "stay" with those feelings, thoughts and sensations, your child can learn to respond, as opposed to react, to them. That said, it is also the case that the very act of bringing mindful attention to one's feelings, thoughts, and sensations may enable them settle down and dissipate. However, this latter outcome is a welcome byproduct of mindfulness but not necessarily the primary goal.

In this three-part post, I describe three sets of mindfulness activities that may help your child cultivate attention, focus, and increased awareness of his thoughts, emotions, and physical experiences with nonjudgment and kindness. There are many other types of mindfulness activities from which to choose---some of which I'll discuss in later posts--but these three types are often used as foundational practices for children across a range of ages and skill backgrounds. I also discuss how YOUR participation in these activities provides yet another way to connect with your child and deepen your child's mindfulness experience and skills.

Mindful Breathing
Mindful breathing, which can be practiced by children of all ages, is one of the most fundamental mindfulness practices. Unlike more directed forms of breathing (e.g., slow nasal breathing or power breaths) that encourage children to breathe in particular ways for a particular effects, mindful breathing consists of simply noticing how the body is breathing at that particular moment. Although we have the ability to control our breath in particular ways, our bodies breathe on their own, too. Most of the time, in fact, we go about out daily life without paying much attention to how our body breathes and without us doing anything to make it happen. Mindful breathing, then, allows us to get to know our breath exactly as it is in that moment--whether it's deep, shallow, slow, fast, soft, hard--with acceptance and kindness. And although the goal of mindful breathing is not to calm down but just to be with our breath and whatever accompanying sensations, emotions, or thoughts we are experiencing at the moment (e.g., fear, anxiety, distraction, peace), mindful awareness of our breathing can have a calming effect. In fact, mindful breathing is an alternative to other forms of directed breathing (see my previous post about this topic) that your child might do as part of her daily breathing practice and/when she is dysregulated or experiencing other big emotions. (I will discuss mindful breathing more in a future post).

The best way to practice mindful breathing is to sit in an upright but relaxed position on a chair, a bolster, or on the floor. Some children find it relaxing to place their hands on their thighs or knees. Sometimes, I also encourage children to place their hands on their belly and/or chest to help them feel their body breathing. Ideally, your child will close her eyes during mindful breathing, but if she is unable to do so and/or is uncomfortable with it, you can suggest that she lightly focus her attention on the ground in front of her. When it's time to start, ask her to observe how her body breathes. Afterwards, you can discuss with her how her breathing felt (e.g., fast, slow, hard, soft, smooth, choppy), where in her body she felt it (e.g., her belly, her chest, her nose), and how she felt breathing in this way (e.g., nervous, calm, heavy, light). Remember that there are no right or wrong answers. The purpose is to notice our breath and experience of it with curiosity, nonjudgment, and kindness.

For some children, especially younger ones, situating this practice within a story or imaginative context allows them to understand and relate to it in more concrete terms. One of my favorite imaginative frameworks comes from the first activity in Eline Snel's Sitting Still Like A Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and Their Parents): First, you can discuss with your child how frogs can jump around quickly but can also sit very still and quiet. Then, you can ask her to close her eyes, sit still like a frog, and quietly notice her breath moving in and out of her nose. There are countless option for this activity. You and your child could be rooted trees, still owls, solid mountains, or whatever other imaginative context allows her to sit still and quietly focus on her breath.

I encourage you to start with short, doable sessions, especially if you child is young or new to mindful breathing. Even 15 to 30 seconds is a good length at first. Overtime, you can increase the sessions to a few minutes or even longer. As she gets more comfortable practicing mindful breathing, especially if she starts to do longer sessions, she might start to notice that she gets distracted or lost in her thoughts from time to time. That is not only okay, but also entirely normal, as most of us get distracted during mindful breathing. As much as possible, encourage her not to judge herself or get discouraged for getting distracted (e.g., "why can't I keep my attention on my breath? I can't do this!") but rather to simply notice when she is feeling distracted and gently return to the breath. In fact, tell her that the ability to notice when one is distracted is actually a moment of being mindful, which is the very quality she is trying to cultivate!

Next Up: Part Two of this post in which I discuss mindful listening and seeing activities for families.